Interesting observation upon reading : I don’t myself tend to directly correlate “someone using this against me” with “vulnerable to being hurt”. Information used against me is an external act; being hurt is an internal experience. They often overlap, but aren’t required to always show up together, IMO.

I seem to have some fairly odd agreements/understanding between my conscious and subconscious over the dream realms. I don’t tend to get conscious control over my dreams; on the other hand, my subconscious tends to create alt-realities (very completely at times) where I can live out some of the paths-not-taken in waking life. We should chat about it sometime, I have at least one or two interesting anecdotes.

Lucid dreams allow me to express more options that put me in danger physically and emotionally when I write. They allow me to examine deeper parts of my self when I’m introspective.

[My lucid dreams are not common. They happen once or twice a year and occur in clusters - once or twice a week for two weeks, usually when I'm sick and feverish. I've only been able to force them out once or twice by taking valarian root about an hour before bed.]

Bruising the ego - it’s not that I never do it, just that I have to be in a really brave headspace to do it; right now is one of those times. They last for months.

My safephrases:
- I’m not ready to face this.
- Are you ready for the possibility of change?

How I further knowledge and understanding if I don’t want to allow my ego to be bruised? Questioning until I am ready. If I’m too afraid to go for it, I ask peoplewho have. I think about how their situation may parallel mine. I assess risk and decide if I want to do it.

If you only introspect far enough not to bruise the ego (another phrase I’d love more discussion on), by what mechanism(s) do you further your knowledge and understanding? Can you elaborate on what you mean by your safephrase here?

The dreaming stuff is fascinating. I have a rather weird relationship with my dreams so don’t really do that sort of lucid dreaming. How do you feel the dreaming helps with your confronting fears and creative expression in the waking world?

In my lucid dreams, where I can occasionally control some of the key moments, if I am headed towards a risky situation with a do or die outcome, I will go for it to see where it leads and how far i can go, even if I see certain death in it. I create a world where I’m testing my perceived invincibility. I’m writing my destiny. I often come close to dying in dreams, or killing someone. I have fallen from great heights and hit ground with a thud, the ground bowing down flexibly and then gradually bringing me up. Sometimes I do safeword out of it by saying ‘no.’ Sometimes I don’t.