Nov 04 2011
It’s amazing the difference hearing nearly the same answers from a doctor you have a trust relationship established with makes a difference. Dr. Rubin de Celis had a chance to stop by today and I didn’t really ask him significantly different questions, but I know he would tell me the truth if this was a major setback or increased cancer risk or anything worrisome. And he agreed that he would tell me if there was anything like that, but that these were fairly normal side effects and complications to have even in someone who was just having the mastectomies and hadn’t had everything else to deal with. It just took away so much more ability and stamina from my body because it was an infection and multiple blood clots on top of double mastectomies on top of chemo just 5 weeks prior to the surgery and the chemo and radiation together before that and the radiation and oh yeah, the having the baby bit in there. He did say the tamoxifen might be increasing the blood clot chances a bit and definitely increased the propensity for crying, and that sometime probably next year when I’m actually fully healed from all those other things and have my ovaries and uterus out he will them switch me to one of the newer tamoxifen-like drugs that has much less chance of causing clotting. But he reassured me that these clots might end up in my lungs but not my brain, and that we will see slow but visible improvement over the next several months in my arm even though I’ll probably always have some lymphedema to deal with, that none of the scans they’ve done show any new cancer; that some of the hardness in my chest is my ribs, which I couldn’t feel quite that well before; that there’s every reason to believe that I’ll keep getting healthier from here as things move forward, and that we can even in a month or so start talking diet so I can have closer to the body I recognize as “me” back and not this bloated thing from steroids and fluid retention that I don’t even recognize as me in the mirror. I touched up and sent back out three stories that were already written before this summer and just need to be circulating around.
So that’s mostly good, and hopefully I’ll see him again in the morning and will feel much better about all of this by then.