Phoenix Living

(Note: I know many of you are anxiously awaiting more tales about the recent cancer experience, and they will be coming — and soon! — but at the rate that works for me and my processing of what was, among other things, an extremely traumatic event. Anyone needing more up-to-date health info and who is on Facebook can join my Fan Page there, which posts 2-4 times a week on health status and current known recovery info. I appreciate the concern!)

(Also note: SpinAThon raised over $2500 and sponsored 42.8 hours of spinning and knitting! Thanks so much to everyone who participated and donated, that will help a lot towards current medical costs. Stay tuned next week when we’ll have a silent auction and put up for bid the results of the SpinAThon efforts, along with many other lovely unique arts and crafts.)

I just planned out the next year and a half of work.

Talk about milestones on the “feeling like a Real Writer” path! Tomorrow/later today/after I’ve slept more, I’ll be officially “back on the job”. (Thankfully for my recovery I have a sit-down job where I can take nap breaks as needed, since tomorrow also starts Yoga-as-rehab sessions.) I have a much clearer idea of what rate I need to be writing at on certain projects in order to have them completed by my goal dates. The rest of 2010 is still going to be a bit off, but it looks like I might actually get some decent work in, as well as finish a long-overdue project.

No worries, regular blogging will continue on a weekly basis if not more frequently, and Callie posts will continue (probably at a rate of 2-3 a month) until…well, until there aren’t any more posts on that arc to write! I’ll also probably write about this new writing routine and how well it works out, and where adjustments need made, and all the other blathery things I think are interesting about life and work. Glad every day that I’m still here to fill the screen with words, words, words.

Had a great conversation with a friend the other day online, about when to let stories go and when to push through and finish them. Conventional writing wisdom I’ve encountered often describes the “wannabe” writer as someone perpetually working on that first novel (but never finishing). Given how many writers attach parts of their ego to their created works or their creative process, it’s not surprising that many feel a sense of failure from not finishing a particular work.

Good writing advice I’ve seen elsewhere does take the time to remind a budding writer that the hindbrain processes are strange and mysterious, you’ll have more ideas than you’ll ever have time to write, and you can often learn more from your writing “failures” than your blissful successes. Here are a few of my own current writing aphorisms I’ve found useful:

Along similar lines as “trust your process” recommended elsewhere, I’d say that “trusting your process is trusting yourself”. The more I let the story’s needs dictate how and when writing happens, the stronger the stories seem to become. When I try to impose external “shoulds” on a particular piece of work (such as, this should be done in this way, or I should be further along on this than I am), I’ve found that almost inevitably I will have a less pleasant and rougher road working on that piece than I do on the ones where I trust the process of creation, however quirky it looks viewed from out here. Sometimes things will take longer than they “should”; assuming you’re not working to a deadline, at this stage in the process you’re the only one passing judgment on you. Are you precognitive that you know the exact creation time-line of each work you envision?

One I have to repeat to myself regularly on the novel and occasionally on shorter works, is “it doesn’t matter if it’s good, it matters if it’s a draft. Drafts can be fixed.” This is a good one for quieting the internal editor that makes you want to go back and polish the beginning bits to perfection before, you know, actually getting to the end; or to barely write because your sentences must be award-winning quality the first time they hit the page. My first drafts are some cringe-worthy, cliched, one-dimensional things, more often than not. However, I’ve noticed that cliches can often be secret code or thought cues when later reviewing the draft, and my revising mind can come up with much better prose more clearly and quickly if I’m following my own hindbrain’s shorthand. My stepmom and first editor Mary Bass says that even a final work is never “done”, in that you always have the option to go back and change or improve your own work. (Whether or not you “should” is a different panel.)

A more recent realization that has been helpful is “just because it’s generally good to finish things doesn’t mean that everything started must be finished.” Just like a musician has scales, or a dancer has stretches, a writer will have bits and pieces of elusive stories lounging in the trunk. Some of those will eventually grow into finished works; many or even most will simply exist as snippets of almost-was. It might be helpful to view them as writing exercises, or brain warm-ups, rather than personal failures.

Similarly, “done doesn’t always mean finished,” whether you mean “I am so done with this POS!” or as another reminder that a finished product isn’t the only marker of success, just the one most obviously recognized as such. I like going back and looking at my writing idea one-liner posts to myself; I rarely find anything I want to use (yet) in a story, but I do enjoy seeing how clever (or sometimes so very not) I am even when just brainstorming or idea-churning. My hindbrain seems to insist on hiding them under half-a-dozen different tags, but that just makes finding them a bit of an adventure, which seems to be part of the fun.

What, if any, are your experiences with any of the above ideas in your own work? (Oh, and I’ll be away from net connection next monday so no writing post then, but feel free to comment in the menatime on this or any of the other ones, I should have phone and limited email access.)

Back and recovering from the trip like a tired, aching thing. Still much work to be done, just doing what parts I can do while sitting around and resting for today. Now on to the interesting stuff…

I’m entering in the last round of edits for “…Elmer the Cat” today in preparation for sending it off. This has been a profound learning experience from start to finish. In the first draft, I had the voice of the narrator so clearly in my head that writing the story was quick and much more linear than many of my stories. It’s been through 6 readers and several revision rounds, including an awesome workshopping that I think I already mentioned, with Steve and Nathan (and Kendra sitting in) up at 4th Street. Had another deep session with Nathan on the plane back, and I think one of the biggest signs that I had to be done with working on it for now was that in some of my own editing suggestions, I’d moved far enough away from it that I was starting to lose the voice that had come through so clearly in draft 1. Happily, Nathan caught most of those and I do think the result is a tighter story. I certainly hope I can get this one published, and already have three or four places lined up to send it to, so we’ll see how it goes.

While I’m trying to remember to take the time to appreciate my accomplishments, there’s more writing to be done! Already a full to-do list today, with catching up on emails to be written at the top of the list. (Also, trolling the trunk for salvageable stories, and jumping the next hurdle of brainstorming so that I can move on with the novel work. And updating the to-do list, hehe.)

Another experience in learning my writing attitudes and routines recently has been quite nifty. I stopped working on the novel for a bit to focus on “…Elmer the Cat”, and thought (rather casually) that I was having a slack-off moment on the novel, being a lazier writer than I really want to be. However, since I’ve been working on letting my head move more at the pace it wants to go, I didn’t struggle too much to self-castigate and just enjoyed the short story work — and my, did I enjoy it! Even as much as it pushed my limits I loved every bit of this latest short story, from brainstorming to drafting to final-for-now revision. (Though I agree with my stepmom Mary, that there’s no such thing as a final draft, you can always go back and revise or rework a piece whenever you feel it needs it.)

And in the process, figured out that the reason I was hesitating on the novel work wasn’t slacking off at all, but a wall needing smashed in regards to a (very good) editing suggestion I received from the marvelous Ella, that I needed more definition of time/space/place. And I agreed with her thought, and realized that not having some of that defined was part of what was slowing me down in this second draft — and that the faster I got to codifying that, the less of this draft I’d have to go back and re-write from the ground up later. Saving future me work is definitely a goal of mine, so my other learning experience this week was a more subtle layer of trusting my writing process/hindbrain, that even apparent laziness might actually be a useful break to regroup and rethink. Also, knowing which hurdle it is that I’m jumping this time is invigorating to the desire to dive back into the work.

For anyone reading who wants to join in, feel free to comment on any of the above or jump into this discussion: What sort of experience have you had with your work or craft recently where your own process surprised you by working outside of your expectations?

I’ve heard a lot of writers complain that they can write the beginning of a story, and many can even write the end of a story. The expanse of unknown territory between those two points is a large part of what stops beginning writers from finishing projects. How do you get a reasonably coherent story with the bits between the beginning and the end filled in?

One writer, Marissa Lingen, seems to solve this dilemma by writing non-linearly. (I’m sure there are other non-linear writers, but I know her so she’s my example.) I would definitely check out her website or LJ to find out more about her process, since I’ve only dabbled in experimenting with non-linear story writing, and she’s quite good and experienced at this technique. But essentially, if you can get your mind to have no problem writing chapter 27 after your chapter 9 which followed Chapter 31 and so on, the middle-of-the-book becomes much less worrisome as a concept.

A variant suggested by several authors is to break your project down into more manageable goals. If you’re trying to fill in the entire story between what you know about the beginning and the end, the project can seem large enough to feel overwhelming, especially if you’re writing a novel. If, however, you know a few major scenes or events that happen along the way, write those scenes, then see if you can figure out how to get from the beginning to the first of those written scenes, then from there to the next one, and repeat until you reach the end. (This process can also be done non-linearly for those who prefer that method.)

For me, on larger projects like novels, I find that working for too long on the novel can get discouraging in part because it feels like I haven’t accomplished anything — an irrational feeling, to be sure, but it still slows down my writing process. Once I get too frustrated at the slowness of forward progress on a larger work, I’ll give myself a couple of weeks to switch my main focus to writing a short story instead. I find that the act of writing and completing a shorter work tends to rejuvenate my desire to work on the novel. I don’t usually have the “Dreaded Middle” issue come up for my shorter stories, but hopefully someone reading will have some good thoughts to share on how to get through that for anyone who struggles with it.

Similar to this, you might find it helpful to create an actual checklist where you can record your completed stages and goals still pending and have the physical record of your progress where you can see it. If you have a writing support network, telling them about your stages of progress when you finish them will get you some pats on the back that many writers find helps them continue creating. A more controversial suggestion is (for trusted writerly supporters only) show them the completed sections or chapters as you finish them; your early fans will be begging you for the next installment and that can be a big motivation to keep writing. Do NOT try this option if you are the sort of writer that feels that once you tell the story to someone else there’s no point in continuing work on it, or if a fan failing to respond in timely fashion will crush your spirit or bring your work progress to a halt.

If you can work in a group setting, consider having regular meetings with likeminded folk where you all share space and work on your own projects. Sometimes just the proximity of others will help keep you focused and on task. If the group contains other writers, a creative roadblock can often be gotten around with a shared brainstorming session. If you’re the type of writer who prefers solo work, you can still get some of this effect if you have a public blog and post your progress markers there. Either way, remember to genuinely congratulate yourself for accomplishing the pieces along the way toward a finished story, and don’t beat yourself up for all the work that still needs doing unless you really, genuinely are motivated best with the stick rather than the carrot. And speaking of carrots, for those of you that work best that way, make sure to have rewards that you are working toward for completing your more manageable milestones. And then, remember to actually give yourself the rewards when you get to those points.

One thing to keep in mind, especially for novel-length works, is that project planning and organizing skills, even those gained in other areas than writing, can be quite useful. While writing is art, and a creative process, most people can’t get to a completed major work on creative drive alone. Finding ways to educate yourself on the skills needed to keep forward momentum going on a project; breaking large unmanageable project pieces down into smaller, achievable chunks; learning to manage your resources and energy so that you don’t get burned out along the way: all these skills and more aren’t just useful for writers, and there’s more than one venue you can learn them in.

As always, don’t forget to care for the main tool of your trade–your body! Getting enough sleep, eating meals with a variety of needed nutrients, getting some form of physical activity or exercise that occasionally gets you out of your chair, and monitoring your mental and emotional health and needs are all ways that you can keep yourself in optimal writing form. The more you are stressed, exhausted, or unhealthy, the less well your mind functions, and the more likely you’ll experience roadblocks in the way of completing your writing project.

There are even things you can do to alleviate accumulated stress while keeping your butt in that writing chair. Writers often spend long amounts of time sitting in one position and staring intently at a computer screen. The same healthy habits you’re supposed to be practicing when you do that behavior in an office setting (that no one really does, but they DO make a difference and really are a good idea) will help you not get too stuck on one thinking track. Every 20 minutes, take 1-2 minutes to look away from the computer screen and focus at something on the far wall from you. Stretch out your hands and arms or give yourself a little hand rub while you do. Every hour, take 5 minutes to get up out of that chair again and stretch your legs, arms, neck, and any other sore parts. Pace around a bit if you have the space and find that you are feeling slow or sedentary, to get your blood circulating more vigorously. Every 2-4 hours, take a short break away from the computer to do 20 minutes of more vigorous stretching or eat a meal. Don’t forget to eat! If you’re having problems remembering these, and it won’t be disruptive to your process, consider setting an alarm.

If you’re the sort of person likely to forget to eat or take breaks when you get caught up in your project, arrange your workspace so that you have (preferably nutritious) snacks at hand. Buy a big drink container with a sealed lid for water and make space to have it next to you. Staying hydrated and fed will feed your mind and help generate ideas as well as more writing.

Steven Brust suggests that “the illusion of progress can often lead to real progress”, or it’s better to write something bad and delete it later than it is to be stuck and not writing. He also mentions that if you can manage it, find ways to enjoy writing the middle part for its own sake, and turn your focus away from the goal-oriented attitude. Trust that the end will arrive eventually, and if you succeed you’ll often find that the middle part writes fairly quickly.

This reminds me of my one of my own writing mantras that I’ll wrap up with : Remember, it doesn’t have to be good, it has to be done. You can always edit, revise, and improve a crappy first draft into something better; it’s pretty hard to do that with something that isn’t at least technically “finished”.

What are your preferred ways of getting through the middle parts of a major project without getting bogged down?

By virtue of declarative fiat, I have reached the end of my novel first draft, and am hard at work on starting the second draft. This is different from the revising stage, which is not yet. Given the current game plan, I expect there to be three drafts before I revise and start showing it around, so I certainly hope I’m faster at writing these next two drafts!

In case anyone is curious about the process, the first draft was all about character exploration and development. As such, it may be a done draft, but not a readable one. The second draft will focus on the linear plot structure, a quick and dirty romp through what tangibly happens. The third draft will preferably bring together the preservable pieces of drafts one and two while layering in all the cool meta bits.

To perkily distract myself from how daunting the task sounds when viewed from the big picture, I counted up the stories I’ve written over the past 1.5 years. Yes folks, fear my mad accomplishment skillz: in less than two years, I’ve completed fifteen stories, have six more in progress (published four online, two in print so far), started an ARF (with the help of many others), and finished a novel draft. Not too shabby a job, when you look at it in that light.

We are valiantly fighting the good fight of having the collaborative project eat our brains by allowing at least one hour in every 24 for our personal projects.

Ok, perhaps I hyperbolize a bit here.  Now that I don’t have to worry about two presentations back-to-back, I can get down to the simple life of owning a business, coordinating a massive online project, and writing a novel  and some short stories.  Simplicity incarnate!

There go those hyperboles again.  Time to develop a new plan of action, since the goal is still to have a finished draft of the novel by the calendrical year’s end.  Note that not specifying a GOOD draft done will speed up the process quite a bit, heh.  And I think there are a couple of stories lying around that need cleaning up before being kicked out of the nest…

But right now I think I’ll continue to obsessively reload certain blogs to see if new content appears.  Oh, and super-squee happiness for other-world characters commenting on our household blog!  The cool parts just keep growing!

When working on a big project and trying to come up with cool ways to draw people into your created world, it’s sometimes hard to guess which line to straddle in how much and how fast you disperse your information. You want to make sure any early adopter fans are in on it soon enough that they feel their specialness, but you don’t want to escalate so quickly that you run out of entertaining content too soon or overload yourself.

On the one hand, when you’ve been cooking a big project for a while and it’s time to start manifesting the results, it’s very easy to want to spill everything all at once. “And here’s this cool thing I did, and this one, and this too, and ooh shinyoverhere!” But while you might hook in some people with the elegance or intricacy of your scaffolding, for most people you’ll catch their interest with the thing itself first. Peeling back the draping comes later.

On the other hand, it’s also difficult to get an outside perspective on how subtle or obvious to be when scattering project references that you hope people will put together to find your baby. Something that looks incredibly obvious to you, the people working on a project for the last n months, might not have such readily apparent connections to those encountering the ideas for the first time.

Part of the fun of creating little tidbits for people to find and geek over is watching the reactions as they encounter and interact with your work. For the creators, it can diminish the fun slightly to have carefully balanced hints and clever approaches only to have to go back and slap a big neon blinking glowing pointing finger sign all over your efforts. The reaction enjoyed by someone watching someone else find an in-character email isn’t at all the same when the first person has to ask “so, didja get that email?” (And in that example, you might not even know whether there was a tech trip-up that caused the email in question to not be delivered, or whether it was caught by a diligent spam filter on alert for unrecognizable origins.)

However, if you’re trying something new, and especially in the early stages, sometimes you have to do a little more hand-holding than you might otherwise be inclined to do. This doesn’t mean swing the pendulum all the way into showing everything you’re doing all at once, but does mean that you have to be willing to launch with a simpler and more obvious approach if your well-crafted more devious plans fall short of your goals.

I’m not sure whether these will be of interest to anyone else, but they’re some of the thoughts flowing through my mind as I attempt to patiently wait for people to start noticing our little venture. It’d be nice if I did more posts like these; I should consider that thought.

…Well, it’s busy season up at work.

…We’re about to launch our 10th anniversary sale special which will hopefully make it even busier.

…Working like mad to put the finishing touches on the paper we’ll be taking to Arse Elektronika this year. There’s more detail over at the household blog, Words Words Words, here.

…Working like crazy (a really fun crazy) on the collaborative creative project, which you’ll start seeing signs of any day now.

…Having my brain torn apart by my novel I’m figuring out I’m going to have to redraft, and the question now is simply whether I’ll do that before or after I get through the last few chapters.

But more literally…this weekend I’ll be enjoying the hills and experiences of San Francisco with Kit, and in a couple of weeks I’ll be taking a version of talk and paper to Israel, traveling with Steve to ICON festival in Tel Aviv.

And then, hopefully, staying home and finishing about 6 projects before the end of the calendar year.

I’ve had very little online time lately, but I’m adjusting daily routines so I can spend more time on my computer. I love comments and blog interactions, so readers keep in touch!

Well it feels that way, but only because the projects I work on are so huge. We finished the second, much longer pass of the business models monstrosity gargantua paper, yay! Now we only have to follow up on all the tangents and make another complete pass through it before my mom comes down with flowchart and red pen in hand. In two weeks or less. Then another for the rest of the paper. Then we’ll be traveling, so better damn well be done. Argh, so much to finish before travel upsets the creative routine again! Wait, chill, panic is another post.

I’ve got about 2.5 more things to catch up on at the shop, which is good improvement there as well. And not falling to pieces more than a few times a week, which is an improvement from 1+ times daily. And, hmm…ah, the maid service thing for the house was totally some of the best money we have chosen to spend to help our family out. Really, any of you families out there that don’t just totally bond lovingly over housework and can save enough pennies for should look into it, at least to help with the deep cleaning and little tidying details that daily life often makes difficult to keep up with. We have them over twice a month, and it’s quite affordable especially when you calculate the time it would take for us to do the same amount of work.

This week I’ve gotten the dining room to a state of completeness lacking only the tabletop and bookshelf organization to be done. My room is down to one bookshelf’s amount of boxes to unpack, (plus laundry to put away) and we hung all the large pictures in the main room (and I’m a third of the way through re-hanging Steve’s book-cover pictures so they look better) so that room is done except for any small finishing touches we think to add.

There’s still so very much to do, but that’s for another post as well. This post is about taking the time to appreciate the minutia of progress.

*tap, tap, twitch*

Okay, enough of that for now, back to work!

PS - I rolled a 1 last night and actually talked about my novel with Kit. That’s a short step away from writing on it, so should be considered good progress as well.