Yes, It Is All My Fault!

Finding one’s Right Path to successful writing is such an individual and delicate balance. So many opportunities to fall, to break, to become disillusioned; sometimes it seems they overwhelm the parts that soar. You learn quickly that there aren’t a lot of easy-formula answers.

The latest lesson along those lines is my Chapter 5 of the latest project. I’ve been limping along on the novel in fits and starts (it’s been a very, very full year), but have managed over 100 pages so far. I got several pages into chapter 5, took a couple of weeks off to write “Flowers In the Desert” (which is set in the same world with some of the same characters as in the novel, so it wasn’t really taking things too far off), came back to the novel…

…and found I was a better writer than when I left it, and Chapter 5 had some of the worst writing of the entire project. What to do?

I spent a few days fiddling with it, but not making much forward progress. A conversation with my lovely housemates confirmed what I suspected: in first draft, there are still times where just barging ahead and worrying about fixing in revision doesn’t work. Sometimes it’s okay and even necessary to backtrack to where the worst of the problems started, save what you have as a different file name in case there’s anything worth salvaging, and start over fresh from there. This doesn’t equal “failure”. It’s part of the process!

So I deleted all but the first scene, wrote one line notes for the rest of the chapter scenes, then illness and interpersonal difficulties have sapped my creative energy for a week plus. The Angsty Artist who must Suffer to write, I’m not.

But I’m about on my last leg of tired of letting that other shite interfere with my work, so I’m writing this blog entry to nag myself into hopefully finishing the chapter tonight, given enough energy. Tomorrow if not tonight. Then tomorrow, plot out Chapter 6. You, my lovely readers, are welcome to harass ask about my progress, come tomorrow. I have some Sekrit Writing Goals to achieve, dammit.